I wanted to die.
In 2011 I was charged with perjury. With a job I loved threatened and looking at possible jail time, I didn’t want to be here anymore. I sat at the edge of the bed with a handful of pills ….
Fitness saved me.
On Halloween 2017, I sat in a concrete solitary cell. Beige walls, no windows, 23.5 hours a day. I didn’t want to be here anymore.
Fitness saved me…
In the first instance, a voice enters my mind and asked “Who can you help?” Something nudges me to dust off a decade old health & wellness certification and help someone achieve better health. One month later I have exactly ONE client. But one is enough. I have someone to help. Self-harm plan aborted.
In the second instance a book with a torn off cover. A quote from Eckhart Tolle: “Success is nothing more than a successful present moment.” The guard knocks on my solitary door: “Yard time today Millington?” It’s now November. It’s colder outside. But I say yes. Yes to the yard. Yes to a few pull-ups on a rusty old bar. Yes to walking lunges around the perimeter of the 10×10 area. 100 lunges to be exact. Self-harm plan aborted.
I used to workout for six pack abs and bigger muscles. (Those would be still cool lol)
Now I work out because it saved my life. I work out because I haven’t taken a single depression med since that day of walking lunges. (I worked out almost every day in jail since that day).
I work out because studies show I’ll never need medication again if fitness and the endorphins it releases is one key to feeling good about myself. That’s why it’s part of my “prescription” to my resilience coaching clients.
So lately I’ve been going to the playground…because fitness is supposed to be fun too.
If you feel down, find your tools to feel better. Find your tactics to overcome the depression. Build yourself up when life tries to tear you down.
And move…it’s lifesaving.
