I remember sitting at the edge of the bed. I remember looking at those pills.
I remember thinking, “How many of these do I need to take so that I don’t wake up anymore?”
I also remember, thankfully, how I was able to get out of the bed.
When I was diagnosed years ago with Depression and PTSD, I was at one of the lowest points in my life. Charged with a crime I didn’t commit. Unsure where I would go next having a career that I loved threatened. Basically, just lost.
I thought the answer, ironically, was more pills. Medications that numbed my mind, and made me forget…temporarily. It wasn’t.
I know everyone has different experiences, and will talk about what works specifically for them, but I can only tell you what I believe works to pull yourself out of the hole, and off of the bed.
The First Solution…Heart.
As I was on the edge of that bed, I had a thought that I believe was placed in my mind. “Help someone else”. I decided to put off my pill count, at least temporarily, to try to help someone else. Having an old certification in Personal Training, I just googled “gyms” near to me. I walked in to the 2 closest ones and literally just asked, “Do you need any trainers?” I think I was really begging, “Give me someone to help!”
Fortunately, one lady said yes, and gave me exactly ONE client. That was all that I needed, ONE person to help. ONE person to give to. ONE person that NEEDED me. Maybe getting in shape wasn’t a life-altering need for him – after all he wasn’t overweight, he just wanted to firm up a bit. But it WAS life-altering for me. In some ways HE saved ME.
Can you find someone to help?
It doesn’t have to be much. I followed that revelation that helping others helps you by volunteering at Food Banks and applying to Children’s organizations and Big Brothers.
If you’re at a low point in life, use your heart and find someone to help.
The Second Solution…my Head.
A good friend of mine went to a support group for mental illness. He stopped going after awhile and told me something that I already suspected – Attending the support group actually made him feel WORSE.
I’m sure there are great support groups out there. And if that helps you, then by all means keep doing it. But ask yourself, “Am I looking at solutions, or just lamenting in my sadness?” You have likely heard the advice to avoid negative people because it makes you negative. I know that many groups that provide support have SAVED lives, but if you go just to vent about how bad you feel, ask yourself honestly if there is a REAL benefit in continuing to go.
I have always gotten more from associating with people that are growing, than from people that just continue to gripe. Acknowledging pain is important – that’s why I’ve seen a psychologist for almost 7 years. But the difference between my psychologist and many support groups is that she listens, but ALSO OFFERS SOLUTIONS to growth.
My mother has always warned me “Stand Guard at the Gate of Thought”. Remember if what goes in your mind is not helping you, it’s hurting you.
Watch your associations.
The Third Solution…the Hustle.
They say “The Idle Mind is the Devil’s Playground”. Regardless of your beliefs, one thing I have learned is this:
Your mind will gravitate towards the negative when you don’t focus on anything.
Have you ever had an inner voice that puts you down? The way to silence that voice – the voice that tells you you’re not good enough – the voice that told me to take those pills – is to stay busy.
Do something. Take a class. Join a group. Or if you can’t leave the house yet, just read a positive book. Stay busy. Hustle. Move. Keep trying something.
I know that Depression and PTSD symptoms can always rear their ugly heads in my life. But I believe the reasons that I can deal with what I’m going through. The reasons that I speak openly about my story. The reasons that my online presence is bold, open and positive – are the ones that I have laid out.
I am not a doctor, but often Expertise comes from Experiences.
I hope this helps.
