I was recently sued for a lot of money. More than I can afford by far. Without getting into the details, I’ll just say it was employment related.
I’ve lost sleep over what I’ll have to do if I have to pay it back. I say if because I’m applying to have the amount paid off by coverage that I paid into a long time ago. Until very recently, I wasn’t sure how it would all play out.
And I had the mindset of a piranha about it.
If you’re like me, thoughts of piranhas probably conjure up thoughts of flesh-ripping, frenzied attacks. The truth is that there are very few reports of piranhas actually attacking humans, and most of those attacks result in only minor injury to hands and feet. However, we’ll go with the fictitious version for our purposes here.
The piranha mindset is one of frenzy. Thinking about the worst case scenario. Focusing on the negative and thinking in a “fight-first” mentality. As a former police officer, this hyper-vigilance came in handy. I had to be ready for anything, and that mindset can be helpful. However, when approaching everything else that way, it can lead to burn-out. In my situation, all I could think about was the possibility of losing everything I have. Of fighting and getting nowhere. Of having to claim bankruptcy. Fortunately, I happen to be reading a good book right now that helped me to change my mindset.
The book – When Things Fall Apart. The author – Pema Chodron. Chodron is a Buddhist, so It doesn’t surprise me that reading her book calmed my mind and soul. I really like this quote she states: “The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
It was like a switch flipped as I read her book. In an instant, I thought “What if I just stopped worrying about this? Why not just accept whatever the outcome turns out to be?” As I said it, it’s as if a voice inside me said “Now you get it.” I felt immediate calm…what I call the Poodle Mindset. I don’t know why I thought of poodles. Maybe it’s because they just look soft and carefree (except for that yappy one in my neighbourhood). Maybe it’s the alliteration of the two “P”s (Poodle vs Piranha). Whatever it is, I liked the feeling of adopting a softer mindset towards my worries. I welcomed my son into the world in June 2019, and one of the pieces of advice I get from other parents is to enjoy this time because it goes fast. I think that goes with everything. Yes I may have this debt to pay, but just like my trial, my wrongful incarceration, and anything bad that has ever happened in my life – this will pass and I’ll get through it. And no matter what you’re going through, you will too.
Even if you don’t believe it when you say it, just say it anyways. Say you’ll get through whatever you’re going through, and you will find a way to overcome whatever challenge you’re facing. Keep saying it, and your mind will calm like a still lake on a summer morning. Keep saying it, and your mind will find solutions. Keep saying it, and you’ll feel instant peace.
That doesn’t mean the problems go away. But when you choose to believe that you will find a way through, you will. But choose the mindset of a poodle, leave the piranha mindset behind. In order to be resilient, speak as if you already are.
End of the story: I still owe a lot of money. But there’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a calm, sound mind – even a broken wallet.
